It's Never Good News

I had my regular meeting with my cardiologist yesterday. Now with the results of all of the testing, he was ready to make some recommendations. The discussion included everything from being admitted immediately to trying to make it through with medications until December. At the core of the discussion was the fact that my heart won't make it for another year. No percentages this time, just a 1 year time limit. (Of course, I realize there's no way of knowing if it will be 3 months or 3 years, but he was clearly trying to make a case for urgency.)

So the next stop is OHSU where the transplant would most likely be performed. They are going to decide if and how I should be waitlisted or what other surgeries might extend my time and improve my quality of life to fend off a transplant for a year or two. My impression is that within the next six months I will have one of two fairly drastic procedures, neither of which I'm comfortable thinking about, and then be put onto a waitlist for a heart. But we'll see what they say when I go up the hill.

As several people have pointed out to me, this does nothing but increase the likelihood of the situation I had already assumed was going to happen. It maybe firms up the timeline a bit. Regardless, I took it pretty hard yesterday. My plan to try and work more through December is looking less realistic, and I had my first meeting with the social worker who will help manage my case in terms of disability and support. I'm so grateful to have something in my savings account again thanks to the gofundme. All you guys are awesome, you have no idea what it means to me.

Hopefully I can focus on moving this weekend and get my mind off of all of this. Also, these guys help...